i think puberty works only for guys
I am that type of douchebag friend who doesn’t talk with you for weeks but still cares about you and hopes you still care too.
Him chewing gum got to me
Day 1: you ripped open my vagina and I hate you
Day 5: just kidding you’re so cute and soft and small lol I could fit you in a handbag
Month 2: STOP CRYING PLEEEAASE. JUST ONE HOUR OF SLEEP AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRR
Month 5: mama? Mama? Mama? Say it? Please? Say something? Please
Month 8: IF. YOU. DON’T. STOP. SAYING. MAMA. THE. POLICE. WILL. NEVER. FIND. THE. BODY.
Year 1: One down. 17 to go…
Year 1, Month 11: oh god.. it’s coming…
Year 2: NO PLEASE JUST PUT THAT DOWN. NNOOO! DON’T TOUCH THAT! Baby, i love you no matter whaT BUT PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THAT JJUST STAY STILL PLEASE SWEETHEART
Year 3: Oh thank god that’s over
Year 4: Awwww, you went to preschool. isn;t that adorable, my little intellectual shit
Year 5: ACTUAL SCHOOL! YOU LEARNED COLORS AND NUMBERS YOU’RE A GENIUS
Year 15: You called me a fuckwit. What the fuck is a fuckwit?
year 16; oh god no LIGHTLY step on the gas NO NON NO NO YOU DONT HAVE TO PRESS THAT HARD ON THE BREAK!!!
year 17: I caught you masturbating but you didn’t notice so I didn’t say anything. You’re welcome.
- it leakED?????????????
- whoa this isn’t even crappy quality
- [screams silently] YAAAAASSSSSSS
- bike bike bikE
- ashton’s air is on point i dig i dig
- why is this SO HOT
- someone PLEASE tell me he’s gonna say ”you came to the wrong neighborhood today…
50 shades of shut the fuck up about this book i’ve read better smut written by virgin teenagers for free
Words. To. Live. By.
if i was dating luke i’d lay in bed with him on rainy days with my laptop and read all his facebook posts from when he was 14 and watch him progressively get more mortified and ashamed